Leadership Weekend

Leadership Weekend

This weekend I participated in my first leadership retreat in many years. I spent the last couple of days with the College and Career leadership team.

As I consider what I’m going to write I feel the tension between being authentic and being sensitive. I came away from this weekend feeling very frustrated. I think people came away from the weekend frustrated with me. I’m pretty new to the leadership team and I came in with a less than stellar view of the current ministry. I think my attitude bled through to my words and it offended people. I believe I could have been more sensitive but I really believe what I said was true.

I challenged the group a lot. I tried to apply what I’ve learned from experience and my training but I felt like I was talking in a different language. I believe I came in with a different agenda. I want to grapple the problem of the churches weakness in discipleship and leadership training, and most others just wanted to improve C&C. Maybe I need to let go of that agenda, or take it somewhere else.

I have issues with the very nature of this ministry. I really want to relfect deeply on those issues here but I don’t think it would be appropriate. I think it’s fair to say that I’m grappling with whether I really believe in the nature of the ministry and whether or not it can succeed in accomplishing it’s mission. This might seem harsh, but our C&C is a very different animal. It’s an individual congregations C&C that grew so large it has become a city wide ministry. It’s so large that more than 3/4 of the people are associated with other churches. I just can’t see how a ministry that isn’t a church, would fulfill the purposes of the church without being closely connected with one.

I’m also looking very hard at myself. Am I the typical ministry trainee with his/her head in the clouds and feet far from the ground. I’ve really been impressed with I’ve learned and I’m excited to apply it to real life. Am I impatient? Am I being unrealistic? In 10 years of ministry training, reflection and experience I know that I’m the kind of person that likes to dream big. I’m trying to formulate a type of ministry that carries the strengths of bible college in to the cities and a local church/mission context. It’s absolutely huge and probably well out of my ability to carry out. I’m jazzed about the idea and I want to go for it.

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