“Dad, how do I talk to girls?”
I was at a wedding over the weekend. At the reception this cute little 9 year old started showing some interest in my future son. Like most males he really wasn’t picking up on the signals. She wanted to dance and he was petrified. Eager to see where this would go I bribed the boy to go dance and he did. By the end of the night the boys attitude about girls had changed sharply for the positive.
There was one moment in particular that made me laugh so hard I fell down. The girl came and said “I want to talk to you” he looked back at us and shrugged and complied with the request. It was the shrug, the I am normally able to think but this girl is talking to me and my brain is barely capable of walking let alone make a decision so I’m just going to go along with it because I’m really not capable of anything else. The I have no idea what is going on but something deep inside me is compelling me shrug.
Afterwards he asked me “How do I talked to girls.” My response: “I’m 31 years old and really have no good advice for you. Girls are like aliens. They don’t think like us and they are terribly hard to figure out. There are a few things you can remember. Be yourself. You may not be able to figure out the best response to a given situation but you’ll just make it worse if you fake anything. There is a rule that does modify this principle. Don’t freak her out. You may really really like her and you are riding high on your feelings but you have to maintain some control and not get carried away. Don’t let your emotions take over, keep some perspective on things. My third rule is one I learned with much grief. Girls are their own people and they can make their own decisions. When you love them they matter to you a lot but you cannot and should not try to control them. Sometimes they are going to decide to do things that hurt your feelings and break your heart and there just isn’t much you can do about that. The easiest thing to do is just accept it and move on.