It has been a long time since I put any thoughts of substance on this blog. It has prompted some to question whether I was depressed or something tragic is going on in my life. I don’t know if I’m clinically depressed, I can’t don’t think I have enough symptoms. However I am very sad about a lot of things. I care about a great many things and a lot of them could be in a better state than hey are. It is kind of twisted in that so much of my life is structured just the way I would like it, yet I can feel so disenchanted with things.
There are people that a very simple perspective on life. Sometimes it is simple in a very good way. They don’t care about the complexities of life, they are just faithful with what they know and what they do. They can be the heart and soul of any social group bringing life, love and hope. There are others who are destructively simple. They might be morally rigid, or hopelessly self centered or what have you. These kinds of people frustrate me because I see the complexities of life. There is a downside to seeing the complexities. Being able to see multiple sides to an issue sometimes results in a kind of paralysis. It can be very difficult to see which perspective is the best one. On others there is a conflict between my head and my heart.
There are so many ways of looking at the world, and I’m starting to think of how difficult it is to get down to what really matters. I’ve functioned in a number of different social circles: Internet/technology, gaming, environmental, conservative and liberal political circles and lots of Christian ones. As I try to sort through what is up and what is down I find myself yearning for simplicity. There are so many challenges in my own community I don’t get around to pondering the greater issues of life. I feel kind of sad about that. I do understand how those who are engaged in a given ministry aren’t always that fond the pundits commentating on what they should be doing.
I can’t read most Christian blogs anymore. There is just so much flotsam and jetsam out there. Especially from people who are on a never ending quest to pimp the next book. I’ve watched some people jump from the evangelical church bubble to another bubble but insulation remains. It is hard to follow when in one moment the most important attribute of church is creativity and a few years later it is what they are doing with the poor in their city’s rough neighbourhood. At on time I was a huge advocate of house churches, now I’d be content to say that love is he most important conduit of ministry. Again, a move back to simplicity.
I wonder how many people will look at the world through one lens and then discover a new one and see how revolutionary it is. Then the new lens turns out to have its own weaknesses. It gets adjusted and adjusted and adjusted or scrapped all together in favour of some new lens. Then fatigue sets in and it becomes more and more difficult to be sure of anything. In some ways I’ve fallen back to the core that hasn’t changed in over 20 years. I don’t know if I have the energy to go much beyond.