Archive for November, 2000
Posted by LT in on November 14, 2000
In the last few weeks I’ve been able to experience a new level and depth of communication with the Lord. I was stinging inside because I was going through an emotional heart ache. My recent journey in to a romantic relationship put me in a position I was unfamiliar with. To put it simply I didn’t know how to be someone’s boyfriend. I didn’t know how to take things that were said or not said. I didn’t know how to balance a seemingly contradictory set of thoughts and feelings. My own instinct to self preservation was working against my desire to open up and be vulnerable to someone. I ended up confused and uncharacteristically unsure of myself. I even told my roomate “I suck at this”.
I was hurting and on a 500km trip alone in my car. Jesus spoke to my heart and told me to talk to him as if he was sitting right there next me. Just Jesus and me heading to Edmonton. So I started talking to the Lord. I put the “justs” and the “dear lords” aside and talked to Him. It was very good. I told him how I felt about things and how hurt I was inside. He listened and touched my pain, He healed my pain. Much of the anxiety and fear was replaced with love and peace. Again I was amazed at the faithfulness of my Lord. I’ve since learned to speak to the Lord more plainly and more directly. I find that at times I hear Him answer me more clearly. I don’t claim to be any kind of prophet. I rarely give a message to anyone. I have experienced much more clarity in hearing His voice.
I appreciate the Lord. He is very kind to me, and he encourages me. His words are tempered with much wisdom, and his voice speaks with much grace. He truly does love me, and I feel that he has a great emotional investment in me. I just wish that I had the courage to be as faithful to Him as he is to me.
It’s a shame that so many people, so desperate to hear from the Lord don’t turn to the Lord in courage and faith. He’s there, the only place we need to go to be unified with Him, is that cross.